M a k i n g D e c i s i o n s / T o m a n d o D e c i s i o n e s

Trust your instincts, and make judgement on what your heart tells you. The heart will not betray you. - David Gemmell

In our lives we make decisions every day, whether there are small or big, and with each decision we make there may or may not be consequences. There are choices that we must take, especially ones that will impact our lives and what direction we will go in life. For every choice we make, no matter what size it is, there is no easy way to make the right choice.

As a girl in her last year in high school, and weeks away from graduation, I was forced to make quick decisions about my future; decisions that I knew would not be easy to make but it had to be done. And I knew that my time was running out and if I didn't make the choice I would miss my opportunity to be the person who I always I wanted to be.  A part of me felt like the studious girl who I thought I was before Ricardo was no longer there. Daily, I had felt like my relationship with Ricardo had consume me completely and I didn't want that. I thought that I could manage both a relationship and my school work; I did with Diego so why not with Ricardo? Every time I focused on my school work it would affect Ricardo and every time I focused on my relationship my school work would be affected.

That night Reyna couldn’t fall asleep, she kept twisting and turning in bed trying to fall asleep but nothing worked. She could not stop thinking about Ricardo had confessed to her that night, it wasn’t because she was happy he said it but because she couldn’t say it back. Was Reyna doubting her feelings toward Ricardo or was it because she felt Ricardo was being a bother to her? It was 11:45, Reyna reached for her phone from her night stand and texted Ricardo.

Reyna: Hey, are you awake? {11:45pm}

A few minutes later.

Ricardo: Hey, yeah, I’m awake. {11:47pm}

As she typed her response, she realized that she couldn’t do this over a text message.

Ricardo: Are you okay? [11:51pm}

Reyna: Can you talk? [11:52pm]

Ricardo: Yeah. {11:55pm]

“Hey.” Reyna put her hair into a bun as she held her phone between her shoulder and her cheek. “Are you okay?” he asked. “Yeah, I’m good.” She responded. “About what I said today…” Before he could his finish thought, Reyna interrupted, “I appreciate what you told me. I really like you a lot. But I was actually calling for something else.” Reyna could not find the right words to say without hurting his feelings. “Um, Ricardo, I’ve been thinking about us and lately, we’ve been…” before she could finish the sentence, “Spending too much time with other.” Ricardo finished her sentence. Reyna smiled. “I don’t want to become those couples that spend every second together and then they break up at the end.” Reyna said. “Um, I get it. I’ve been thinking about that too and you’re right.” Reyna was relieved that Ricardo felt the same way. “Maybe, we could give each other some space.” Ricky added. “Exactly.” Reyna agreed. “Like a break from each other.” He said. Reyna didn’t like where this was going.” No. I mean, let’s make time with our friends and stuff.” Reyna explained herself. “Oh. Yeah, sounds good.” He replied. “Well, it’s late, I’m going to sleep.” Ricardo told Reyna and immediately hung up. “Good night.” The call had ended right before Reyna had the chance to say good night.

Last night’s conversation was needed, I felt like the last few days Ricardo and I had been spending too much with each other, he was either driving me to school, to my house or to work. I felt like he would spend all his free time with me and I felt guilty for giving me all the attention.  

I had arrived to school's parking lot like 7:15 in the morning; there was hardly any cars parked, I guess I was too early. Before I started dating Ricardo and during my relationship with Diego I would arrived to campus like 7:20 and spend the morning in the library reviewing class notes, making final edits of papers or projects. That morning the library hadn't been open so I decided to sit down under the tree by the old bench. "Reyna, hey..." My friend Karina approached me. "Karina, hey..." I was surprised to see her at school this early, she would usually get to school late. "What are you doing here so early?" I asked. "My mom drop me off early, she's tired that I'm always getting detention." she smiled. "So, where's Ricardo? I'm surprised that he's not here." Karina took a seat across from where I was sitting. "Well, from now on, I've decided to drive to school myself..." I said. "Oh no, what happen?" was the first thing she asked me. "Nothing, I just realized that I've been spending too much time with him." I said. "Yeah, we've noticed." Karina commented. I smiled.

Ricardo stood in front of the refrigerator deciding what to eat. "Move over, I'm hungry too." Karla, his younger sister, pushed him out of the way. Ricardo seemed to be a bit distracted after last night's conversation with Reyna; he felt like Reyna wanted distance was because of what he said and she didn't feel the same way for him. "Are you going to eat something or what?" Karla sat down to eat her cereal. 

"Well, the reason that I came in early today is that I have a lot in my mind and just wanted time to think." "About what?" she asked me. "About my future... with college and my relationship." I told her. "Oh, I see." she replied. "Yeah, the thing is what is going to happen when we go off to college?" I asked her. "Well, I believe it's a normal to question your relationship, but I thought you two already agreed to go to UCLA together... wait... unless you got accepted to USC?" I couldn't help but to smile. "No way! You got accepted?" Karina could always read me. "Yeah, I got the letter yesterday." Karina stood up and hugged me. "Congrats!" "Thanks, now you see my problem. I have to tell him that I won't be going to UCLA and I don't want to disappoint him, he was so thrill." I told Karina. "Amiga, I'm sure he will understand, he knows that USC is your dream school. You cannot make a life changing decision because of him, that won't be right for you or him or the relationship." Karina was right, I had to tell Ricardo my plans about going to USC and not UCLA, even if it meant breaking up, a decision that I had to make.

"We need to make a decision and quick." Stephanie told Ariana who was getting her things from the car. "A decision about what?" she asked. "About how to get Reyna out of Ricardo's life." Stephanie stated. "Can I ask you something Steph?" Ariana followed Stephanie. "Why are you so determined to get her out of the picture? Do you still love Ricardo?" Aria asked. Stephanie stopped walking and face her. "No, of course not.” Stephanie laughed. Stephanie didn’t wanted to admitted to herself but she regretted not fighting for her relationship with Ricardo. 

Rather waiting for the library to open, I decided to accompany Karina to the cafeteria to meet up with my other friends. "Um, Karina, there is another reason that I didn't want Ricardo to drive me to school today." I told Karina as we reach for our breakfast. "What is it?" she asked. "Ricardo... um last night told me that he loves me." I reached for a banana from the basket, "Aww..." I grinned. "What is it? Aren't you happy that he told you how he feels, most guys won't say it." Karina said. "Yeah, but I kind of feel bad because I didn't say it back. I can't say it if I don't feel the same. I mean, I like him and a lot, but love, I don't know."

"Isn't that too childish, but it might work. Good thinking Aria." Stephanie kept walking towards the back of the school where she met with her boyfriend Oscar, "Wait it a minute," she said before going on, "Aria, but I thought you are friends with Reyna, why are you helping me?" Stephanie asked Aria before she left. There were things that Stephanie didn’t know about Ariana for example why she was willing to sacrifice her friendship with Reyna to ruin her. What Stephanie didn’t know was that Aria had a plan of her own that involved becoming friends with Stephanie and maintaining the friendship with Reyna. Ariana and Reyna were friends since elementary school and were best friends in middle school until she realized that Reyna was getting everything Ariana wanted without trying. First it was the summer trip to Spain that only two students got selected and Reyna was one of those students. Since then, little by little Ariana started to envy Reyna for the smallest things such as the grades, the teachers attention, and how she manages to get a guy’s, Ricardo’s, attention without trying. So, in the last months, Aria had been developing a plan to ruin her chances in becoming the class valedictorian and her relationship with Ricardo.  

As we continued talking my other two close friends, Lucy and Melissa joined us at the table. "Reyna, is that you?" Melissa made fun of me. I laughed. "Yeah, it's me." I said. "Y ese milagro, where's Ricardo?" Lucy asked. "Probably still at home." I replied. "So, you guys didn't drive to school together?" Melissa sat across from me." Nope, I realized that we were spending too much time together." I smiled. "Yeah, we noticed." Melissa said. "Well, finally, you have a little freedom, Ricardo is a bit clingy." Lucy told me. I smiled. I didn't reply back because what Lucy said was true. 

"So, what's new?" I asked.