A B r e a k / U n D e s c a n s o

We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion.  – Max de Pree

School's Parking Lot

“So, how come you didn’t go to pick up mi cunis like every morning?” Karla asked as Ricardo had entered the school’s parking lot. “You know we aren’t always together.” He replied. “Oh… you and Reyna having problems, huh?” Ricardo’s tone in voice change “Just because I didn’t pick her up doesn’t mean we’re having problems.” “Calm down, I was only kidding…” Karla said. “I found it weird because you’re always with her.” She added. Ricardo got off the car. “Ricky.” Karla glanced at her brother and realized something was wrong with him. Ricardo locked the car and walked away. “Don’t wait up for me, I’m going to Gabby’s afterschool.” Karla watched how quickly Ricardo disappeared in the crowd of people.

“We missed this.” Melissa said. “I mean, don’t take it the wrong way, we love Ricardo but you too were like a married couple.” Lucy added. I smiled. “It’s okay. I was getting a bit annoyed but last night I told him my concerns and we’re giving each other some space.” I told them. “So, like a break?” Melissa asked. “No, like distance from each other. We both agree to hangout more with our friends.” I said. My friends gave a me a look. “It’s a break up.” Lucy said. “No. it’s not.” I said. “Ohh… okay.” I changed the conversation, “So, we should hangout this weekend.” I suggested. “Yeah, let’s go to the movies.” My friends began to talk among each other with excitement, while my mind wondered somewhere else.

“Hey, man.” Gustavo, one of Ricardo’s friends approached him. “Hey. Where are the others?” Ricardo asked. “With their girls… speaking of, where is Reyna?” Right before he could answer, Ricardo saw Reyna passed by him along with her friends. “There she goes…” he smiled. As she passed by, Ricardo caught a glimpse of her laughter; he realized how happy she seemed to be and began to wonder if he was holding her back and if “Are you okay?” Gustavo asked his friend. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Ricardo and I shared a look as I passed by him in the hallway, and for a moment I thought I saw a smile but I looked away quickly that I couldn’t see it clearly. I didn’t give much thought if I should say hi or not, I was too busy having a great time with my friends to think.  “Did you see that? Gus was checking me out.” Karina said. I gave her a look. “What?” she asked. “Oh, nothing.” We all smiled. Soon, my friends and I got separated in the hallways as each of us walked towards our classes.

“Reyna.” I heard a familiar voice as I walked into my Economic class, I turned around and saw Diego with a grin on his face. I rolled my eyes as I took my seat. “How are you?” he asked me. If he had asked me that question a few months back, I would give him a different answer from the one I gave him. “Stressed out.” As you may remember, Diego humiliated me in front of the entire school, making in public that I was only a joke to him and since then our encounters have been limited to school and unfortunately at work. “I must imagine.” He replied.

As my relationship with Ricardo began to grow, over time Diego had slowly began showing interest in me again, not romantically but as a friend. I wasn’t sure how to approach his interest, at first I looked away and ignored that he existed but overtime his change convinced me. Not only that but we were classmates and co-workers so we had to co-exist with each other. So, how’s the car doing?” he asked. A few weeks ago, I had trouble with my car and Diego offered to fix it. “It’s doing a lot better. Thanks.” I smiled. Our conversations were limited to small talk such as: how are you? What have you been up to? Questions that didn’t generate a conversation. The second bell had rung, Diego stood up and went to his seat, while I prepared for class.

During the class discussion about United States economy, Ariana observed how Reyna interacted with the teacher, Mr. Gamez; she didn’t understand how Reyna made it so easily for all the teachers to like her and give her special treatment. Ariana’s jealously towards Reyna grew and she could not stand it another second. As she was staring at the board, Aria glanced over at Diego who could not stop staring at Reyna, and in that moment Aria figured out how she was going to get Diego to help her.

Economics was not that boring like other students made it seem to be, in the contrary it was interesting especially have a disagreement with the teacher. One of the hardest class I had was AP Calculus, people in the year before me even warned me not to take and I did anyway. Every time I walked out of that class I would get a headache for putting too much pressure on my mind. Even if I had a difficult time in Calculus I didn’t hate it, in the contrariare it pushed me harder to do better. “Reyna, just breathe in and breathe out.” My friend Jocelyn told me as the teacher collected our exams. “I just can’t help it. Calculus gets to me.” I told her. “It’s only a practice exam.” She said. “I know, but I felt like I could have done better.” Perhaps Ricardo had a point when he referred that I had a lot going on and that I needed to let some things go. “We’re having a study session this weekend if you want to join us.” Jaime, my classmate who was in our group, suggested. I had already made plans with my friends, I thought. “What time, because I work weekends.” I said. “On Saturday and Sunday at 4. Is that good?” Jocelyn said. “I think so.” I replied. The bell rang for lunch. “I’ll text you the details.” Jocelyn said.

Lunch

To be completely honest, I felt relieved, free, and weird not having Ricardo by my side; I know it was wrong for me to say that but it was how I was feeling in that moment. Lucy and I found our usual table occupied so we decided to sit outside. “So how’s the whole thing with Ricardo going?” she asked. “I miss him.” I confessed to her. “Really? It hasn’t been a day.” Lucy smiled. “I know, and I get the whole space thing but at least he would send me a text.” I kept staring at my phone waiting to buzz but nothing. I still had to talk to him about USC. Melissa and Karina joined us at the table. “Hey. So did you tell her yet?” Karina asked me. “Tell me what?” Lucy asked. “I got to USC.” “What??” “Yeah, our nerd got in to USC.” Karina added. Melissa and Karina congratulated me. “Don’t tell Ricardo, he doesn’t know yet.” I said.

Ariana overheard what Reyna had just told her friends and it was no surprise to her that Reyna had gotten in to USC. “Did I hear right? You got into USC?” Ariana approached to Reyna’s table. “Sorry to eavesdrop but I couldn’t help it.” Reyna smiled. “Yeah, I got the letter yesterday.” “Congrats Reyna, you deserve it.” Ariana smiled. “Thanks Ari, have you heard anything?” Reyna asked. “No, and I doubt it. I’m going to UC Berkeley.” “Aw, that’s a great school.” Reyna replied. “Well, I have to go, see you in class.” Aria walked away.  

“What was that about?” Stephanie asked Aria. “Just found out that Reyna got into USC.” “Wasn’t that school that you got denied from?” Stephanie replied. “Yeah.” Aria held her face expression clam but inside she was feeling full of rage and jealously.

While Lucy was talking about her English class and the controversial debate they had, I took the time to go get something to eat. “Hey…” I turned and it was Diego who standing in line behind me. “Hi.” I smiled. I tried not to make it obvious that we were talking. “Step away a little. I don’t want my friends to see you near me.” I told him. “Oh, isn’t this a bit extreme. We’re friends. Or unless they don’t know what.” I was facing forward. “No, they don’t and I don’t want them to find out.” I said.

“Just shhh! I don’t want anyone to see us.”

Stephanie and Ariana were witnesses of Reyna’s and Diego’s discreet conversation. “Can’t she be more obvious?” Stephanie said. “They’re just friends.” Ariana said. “I doubt it. I think there’s more… then why is she hiding it.” Stephanie said.  “Diego!” Stephanie called out across the cafeteria. “Hey, what’s up?” Diego sat down next to Aria. “We need your help.” “Um, with what?” Diego asked. “We noticed you and Reyna talking… are you still into her?” she asked him. “Why do you want to know?” he replied. “Well, we want to help you to get her back.” Aria said. “Why?” he asked. “ Do you want her back or not?” “Yeah I do.” He replied. “Well, I know a way to get Ricardo out of the way. Just keep talking to her but be more out there.” Stephanie said. “Reyna doesn’t love me anymore.” Diego said. “Diego, just do what we do, and I promise she’ll be all yours again. “Aria said. Diego didn’t understand what Aria and Stephanie we’re planning but he didn’t care, if that meant getting Reyna back, he was willing to do anything.

“What was that about?” Lucy asked me as soon as I sat down. “What?” I asked. “You thought I wouldn’t see huh, you and Diego.” I ignored Lucy's comment and jumped into Melissa and Karina's conversation. I could not tell my friends about Diego, I could imagine what Lucy would say and I could not let this be a big deal. 

As the bell had rung for class, I thought about Ricardo and how it felt strange not having here with me. I know it was my idea for the break, and I should stick with it but I couldn't hold it anymore, I just had to text him. (I was not dependent on him, I just realize that I could not live with out him.)

Reyna: Meet me by my car. I have something to tell you. 1:55 pm